[DELETED BLOG] archived from october 31st 2005

yknow it's kinda dumb. i wish i didn't exist but i wish i still did. Like, that makes no sense, doesn't it?

i don't want others to see me, they wouldn't like me anyway. i wish i was like.. a vampire or something. vampires don't have to care about what people think of them. vampires don't have to look at themselves in the mirror every morning. vampires don't have to show up during the day, they can stalk during the night and.. suck blood and shit like that. it's not like i don't want to live, or anything like that. I just don't want to be here. not like this. It'd just be so easy to close my eyes and have everything disappear- wouldn't have kids at school fucking with me or anything. I want to exist in my own way away from everyone. or.. i dunno, i could be whisked away by a vampire. i think they'd get me, we're kinda the same. Like.. some of them are freaky outcasts. Err, minus the blood sucking part i guess

I dunno. it's dumb, right?